As a practice, I do not usually tell people about my personal life. But I think this will be very helpful, to see my position and encourage you to adopt it.
Wendie and I were married in 2000. We have only been married once, and got married in our late 20’s. For whatever reason, we simply could not have children (and we decided against fertility methods). We both felt called to raise kids, so we started the process to foster towards adoption. We signed up with Social Services to take the class and as one of the teachers joked “we usually have someone get pregnant during this time”. Well guess who that was true for? Yes, we got pregnant in our late 30’s, but it was not meant to be. Wendie and I lost our first child, having never seen that little one, but assured we will again.
But that isn’t the end of the story. About a year later, Wendie was pregnant again with our firstborn. She was 39, I was 41. We were late on the scene, but glad to be there. What a blessing that little one was. Such a good blessing that less than a year later, we had his little brother Ben. We were estatic, but a bit overwhelmed at our ages. Kids are work, and we weren’t teen agers anymore. But we were glad to have them both!
But we weren’t done. I remember my wife breaking the startling news to me about a year and half later: pregnant AGAIN! This little one was not planned. Now here is what I want to tell you:
Wendie was 42 when she got pregnant with our little Junebug and I was 44. People that I graduated high school with have kids in college and out. In fact, some even have grandkids. Wendie and I are in a class of our own. We have no peers our age with infants and toddlers. We don’t fit in with parents of children our age. Raising these little ones can be downright tough. Wendie works evenings, I work days. She has them herself during the morning, I am a single dad at night. Its a job any way you consider it. As most people my age will enter their retirement years having raised a family and then look forward to enjoying those golden years, we will be raising kids in our 60’s. We won’t have those golden years to look forward to like others do.
We would fit into a group where people would say “I can understand if you decided not to have that last baby, after all think of the hardship”
Thing is, we cannot imagine our lives without them or her. Our quiver is full, our hearts are full. Their lives are valuable. ALL little lives are valuable. Say yes to life, you won’t regret it.